Well, this post is starting out already as saying nothing.  I haven’t written about food in a while.  I haven’t made anything interesting at home lately. My diet these days consists of a lot of watermelon smoothies with raw protein powder and rice, lentil salad usually tossed with cilantro, mango, lettuce.  Basically, its the same thing day in and day out, not because I’m lacking creativity necessarily, just because its what’s there and I’m hooked.   I haven’t really gone to any outrageously spectacular restaurants either.  However, when I have had time and am not going to bed at 8 pm, I’ve been able to dive into some local delicacies.

Taiwan has amazing food at even more amazing prices.  I’m presently in Chiayi which is one of the smaller cities.  In comparison to the bigger cities like Taipei or Kaohsiung, Chiayi is also apparently a lot cheaper.  A majority of their food is heavily influenced by a multitude of cultures.  There mostly seems to be a lot of Japanese and Chinese food. Do not confuse Taiwanese people with Chinese people, there’s a big difference. Don’t ask me what those differences are because I don’t know, but they’re very clear that they’re not the same, though they speak the same language.

And what visit to any country would be complete without trying some of the traditional food?  I know doing all this yoga causes me to obsess a bit over my food and what I can’t eat, but I don’t want to be so narrow-minded all the time.  Ashtanga women particularly can seem to be quite intense about the food thing.  Anyway, I like to make exceptions when given the right time and place.

Stinky Tofu

If the name doesn’t scare you off, the smell just might.  The whiff I got when I stepped out of the car was something like sewage, but I boldly stepped forward to the little shop.  As we walked closer and closer and finally into the epicenter, the smell all but seemed to dissipate.  Well, either that or my nose hairs had completely died.

The name of this delight is exactly what it means.  It’s stinky and its tofu.  It’s also fried and served with some sort of sweet and spicy dressing with their version of Korean Kimchi.  Actually, I really liked the cabbage on the top, it was sweet and sour with a crunchy texture that was every bit welcomed after the heat and oil from the tofu.  Where does the bad smell come from?  The tofu is fermented and can be served steamed, cold, stewed or most commonly, fried.

It was good, I’d eat it again.

Rice Noodles

This was a very famous shop in Kaohsiung known for their handmade noodles.  I ate the ones from rice and my friend’s had the ones made from flour.  It was light and easy to digest, a little bland of flavors though, but it was good and the bean sprouts and scallions added a nice bit of extra texture.

I wouldn’t avoid eating it again, but I wouldn’t race towards it either.  It was a bit plain for me.

Fish Cake Soup

Is it healthy?  Possibly not as it’s processed.  However, I really love fish cake.  I used to enjoy this a lot in Korea all the time.  Of course, it’s prepared and served differently there than in Taiwan.  This was a light soup and altogether I wouldn’t argue that it is 100% bad for you.  The broth is simple, mostly water mixed with some fish or vegetable stock.

Would I eat it again?  Absolutely.  I love the cute little bite sized pieces.

Hot Pot

If you’re looking for a lot of food, this is the way to go.  Influenced from the Japanese Shabu Shabu, Hot Pot is a full on experience and is kind of like a Chinese Fondue.  You typically choose the type of broth you want and then the ingredients (lots of variety, possibilities are endless).  When the food arrives, you cook it yourself and eat when ready.  It’s filling and its hot.  I’ve also had spicy hot pot, which isn’t just heat hot, its very spicy in nature.

Given the cooking time and the time for the food to cool enough to eat, this sort of meal can be a lengthy and filling affair.

Taiwanese Breakfast

Fish for breakfast is definitely something that doesn’t usually happen in my world, but I wanted to be open minded.  This seemed much like a lunch or dinner sort of meal to me, but this was a breakfast shop.  There’s loads of dumpling stores and other fried eats that people eat a lot for breakfast as well, which I haven’t had yet.  Perhaps next time…

This was actually a really tasty meal.  It was light as hopefully nutritious.  The fish soup came with fish (obviously) and they put some rice inside as well.  Spinach was sautéed and we got a sweet soy glaze with wasabi to spice up the meal.  It was delicious and I’d definitely eat this again.  Light protein, vegetables, some carbs and not much sugar is a pretty good meal in general.

Counting down the days till I’m back in the states…16 days and counting.

Many times, I’ve said said that the answer lies in love and though I do agree with this wholeheartedly, I know its not that easy.  Too much self love can lead to an obsession with oneself.  Someone struggling with an eating disorder, drug addiction, or even an attachment to the physical form of the body is still an attachment.  For years, many have told me that I can use my experience with my addictions to help others, but I’ve never understood how other than with my ability to relate.  Getting someone to share their problem, might help marginally, but the steps towards wholesomeness are a decision that’s left solely up to the individual.

It wasn’t until my last post when I finally realized that a lot of my own personal healing has spawned from my ashtanga yoga practice.

However, let me be clear about one thing: I hear people talk about the wonders of yoga, how it healed them, and brought them inner peace – this did not happen to me.  Yoga has definitely caused me to make great lifestyle changes, which have helped me see a bigger picture, but I wasn’t awakened after my first or second, or 500th class.  I was more hooked on the potential to contort my body into weird postures.  In fact, I’ve often felt like a bit of a sham doing yoga and then going home and sticking my head down the toilet.

While yoga has helped me to generate more body awareness, it has also highlighted my body dysmorphia issues.  With all the various poses, I often can’t stop thinking how much easier my practice would be if I was 5 kg lighter.  A lot of advanced floaty practitioners in ashtanga are either small or really thin (there are of course exceptions).  Basically, yoga has only maintained some of my negative mind-body issues.  However, unlike before yoga, my awareness has been heightened to the fact that I’m needing and wanting to transcend this.

What about healing?

Perhaps, yoga hasn’t healed me personally, but it has brought many healing people into my life.  Prior to yoga, I had never been surrounded by so many people who really cared wholeheartedly for others, themselves, and their environments.  I’m lucky to have met so many yoga practitioners, from various practices, who haven’t been trying to convert me.  Many are really solid, authentic, and truly leading by example, which has been a great motivation for me.  It’s important to walk the walk.

So, what’s the key to making a life change?  I’ve heard it time and time again, but now I really hear it.  It’s about choosing to surround yourself with people who are seeking a way to be something greater than who they are.  I don’t mean an overachiever who’s climbing the scaffold to get on top either, I’m talking about sangha.

Sangha basically means community, company.  Within this community are also those that have attained a higher realization, or those who you might essentially look up to.  From the Buddhist perspective, the qualities of sangha involve practicing the good, upright, and knowledgable way.  It’s the people who are genuinely interested in their harmony in the world, the people who you talk to or who when they smile have the ability to light up the room, or the world.  It has been unconsciously surrounding myself with people like this who have caused me to not envy, but instead want to emulate them.

I remember years ago my sister wrote me a letter when I was a teenager and said to be careful with my choice of friends, “‘show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.’”  Quite a warning to read as a teen, but its true.  The people around you and their values, will only be more emphasized in yourself.  Become aware of your surroundings and the types of people you spend a lot of time with, how do they make you feel?  How do you feel about yourself when you’re with them?  Do they accept you for you?  Do you accept them?

It’s not just people, its also environments as well.  All the films we watch, books we read, stories we hear will impact our thoughts and nature. If something doesn’t feel right, develops feelings of anger, jealousy, insecurity, then its probably best to change the situation or, if able, your mind.

To someone struggling with an addiction, its not as easy as immediately diving into a completely new environment, the person obviously has to want to do something different.  Forcing a person to do something, comes from a place of fear, and will only further propel them  in the opposite direction.  I think once an individual starts to be surrounded grounded people, environments and love, its only a matter of time before an internal evolution starts to occur.   It’s all about the small changes, staying committed, and believing that there is a greater potential within.  Gradually with time and patience, I believe, healing is possible.

Grief is seeing only what has been taken away from you.  The celebration of life is recognizing all that we were blessed with, and feeling so very grateful

Who Ordered this Truckload of Dung? Ajahn Bram

If you’ve had a chance to get to know me, you’d know that I’ve had a long history battling an eating disorder.  If you know me even better, you’d know that this issue is still something that haunts me.  While the darkest days seem furthest behind, the memory still runs deep.  Breaking down toxic thoughts are not easy, especially when you’ve allowed them to dictate who you are for years.

Nearly 9 years ago, I had gone through an outpatient treatment therapy for my eating disorder.  I was in a group with other girls with anorexia/bulimia and it was intended to get us on a healthy path.  Of course, none of us wanted to be there obviously.  None of us felt ready to stop or thought that we had a problem.  Naturally, I became friends with many of them.  Our therapist was weary of us spending time together outside of the group because since it was unmonitored, it could be a trigger for a relapse.  We did meet though, here and there. Yet, as time passed, we went our separate ways.

About 2 years after our treatment group, I happened to meet up with one of the girls.  We were both still struggling with our eating issues, but mine happened to be a bit more under the radar.  I didn’t look underweight, in fact, I was a little overweight.  Perhaps my parents knew something wasn’t okay, but after my rebellious teen years and the tumultuous times at the onset of my eating disorder and drug usage, I think they’d forgotten what I was like without it all.

In fact, I had forgotten what I was like without it all.

Seeing my friend again was hard and I realized that I couldn’t connect with her much until she’d healed or until I was solid enough.  It was a trigger for me at that time and while I don’t blame her in the least, I wish I could’ve been a better friend.  Eventually though, more time and distance continued separated us.  Thanks to Facebook, we connected here and there.  I also started practicing ashtanga around that time.  There was a large part of me that had grown tired of it all and was seeking a journey of healing; healing that would take me nearly a decade, which seems to be a process that’s never-ending.

Venturing to Korea was not easy and my mental/emotional state was turbulent.  Adjusting to a new culture, job, lifestyle, dealing with the isolation that comes from my yoga practice, and not speaking the same language prompted a major relapse.  I was ashamed and embarrassed by it all because I thought I had conquered it through yoga.

About 1 1/2 years into my time in Korea, I heard from my old friend.  She contacted me about teaching English.  I could see from her pictures that she was still battling her ED (we name it).   At that point, I was working towards healing myself, so I felt it best that I not engage too much with her.  I’d follow her on Facebook, but avoided connecting much for fear that in my fragile state, we’d trigger each other more.

She spent the last year teaching English in Spain and the last few months traveling around Europe.  I had connected with her at the end of March and she’d apparently had spent some time in the hospital with an ulcer or infection of some sort.  I found out yesterday that she passed away suddenly on April 9th from a heart condition.   I’m saddened that she never overcame her battle with ED.

~

I read a story today about grief and loss.  In his book, Who Ordered this Truckload of Dung, Ajahn Bram talks about how at the end of good concerts people always want more.  We applause loudly, scream, holler, and stand up because we don’t want it to end.  Eventually though, after extra songs are played or sung, or the audience quiets down, the band/orchestra and all the people will pack up and go home.  There’s always a buzz after and though the music or performance stops, the energy doesn’t fade.   We remember those hallmark performances or moments for many years after.

Bram shared how the end of concerts was how he felt about his father’s death.  It was like a great concert performance had ended and it was his father’s time to go home.  Bram didn’t feel sad, instead he was filled with inspiration and gratitude.

At this time, I can find solace when thinking of Jessica and her life this way.  No doubt she struggled to continue with her encore probably the past few years, but what a wonderful life she’s had.  How lucky I was to have known her.

Your spirit lives on Jessica.  Despite the darkness we shared, I remember laughing with you and how lighthearted you were.  Wherever you are now is a special place.  I know you touched many lives as I can see it from all the love that’s being shared on your Facebook wall.  I’m sorry I never saw you again in this life, but I pray our paths will meet again.  I’m grateful to have met you.  May you find peace and calmer shores at your next destination.

Farewell for now.

Basically, I’ve entered into another country that I knew literally next to nothing about before my arrival.  After an incredibly long journey from Edinburgh -> Frankfurt -> Seoul -> Taipei —–through immigration (which is a nightmare at the TPE airport)—-and then the HSR (High Speed Rail), I finally, finally made it to my destination: Chiayi City.  I felt Friday late morning and arrived by 7 pm on Saturday night.

Given that I lived in Korea for some time, I brought along a few biases and assumptions about the culture here.  But, I’ve been wildly surprised by everything so far.  While its only been a week and I’ve probably spent most of that time adjusting to my early morning practice/teaching routine, I’ve really enjoyed what I’ve seen and eaten.

On a more cultural note, coming to Taiwan with no understanding of the local language would be difficult.  Most everything, like Korea, is in Chinese.  As most know, Chinese characters are an entirely other world to tackle, unlike Korean hangul that you can learn in a day.  I’m fortunate to have help from some of the locals.  As I always recommend, if you’re planning to integrate anywhere, try to connect with the people from the area.  Life is so much easier when someone knows where to buy mosquito repellant, business letter envelopes, and organic products!

I might add that I still can’t ride a scooter, which is a very popular form of transportation in Chiayi City.  It’s not so common in Taipei because its a bigger city, but public transportation isn’t good here (no subway/bus and few taxis).  I did go for my first scooter ride with my friend this morning, we made it to the yoga school in about 25 minutes (normally takes about 10).  On my to do list: learn to ride a scooter!

Balance Yoga School, Chiayi City

Other than that, the people here are so friendly, even if they can’t understand me.  The warm weather has been treating me well, granted it’s a little humid, but I can’t complain.  It is wonderful to be able to wear shorts, t-shirts and sandals again!!!  It’s been too long!

My addiction right now??   Sweet potato!  Actually, it’d be a lie to say this isn’t my addiction year round, but you can get it here roasted, which is heaven and for only about 15-20TWD!  I bought 4 large ones hot and ready to dive into for about $2 USD.

I used to go bananas for roasted sweet potato when I lived in Korea, but finding the stalls that sold them were few and far in between.  I’d often end up roasting my entire apartment, because it took so long, in an effort to recreate the oh-so-delightful-roasted sweet potato taste.

But, I’m grateful that I can now eat sweet potatoes all the time.  I’m probably going to turn a different color with all the carotenoderma.  Project Orange here I come!

The Taiwanese food that I’ve tried has been really good, with a great deal of variety and then there’s all the fruits that are available in surplus because of the climate: pineapple, papaya, mango, watermelon.  Heaven.

Low cost of living, friendly people, amazing fruit and vegetables and my fingertips, not to mention warm weather – sign me up for more!!!  My first week can be summed up in a lot of roasted sweet potatoes, watermelon, yoga, watching too many TV shows, reading, going to a Taiwanese wedding and getting to bed far too early.

I guess the only thing that’s missing from this adventure is my boyfriend.

I pretty much sum up why I choose to be meat-free in these two points (only really stating the phrases underlined):

1. The quality of meat is heavy in mass and thus difficult to digest in the body, which is the opposite effect I’m trying to achieve.  In my understanding of yoga, we’re attempting to cultivate a feeling of lightness.  Most noticeable during our physical yoga practices, a feeling of lightness is beneficial when trying to lift the body or move into difficult postures.  Overconsumption of meat can create a lot of stiffness in the body, as it also increases mass.  By no means does not consuming meat give liberty to starve oneself either, you can easily go the opposite direction with this lightness thing too.  Let’s not forget that yoga is more than doing postures every day.  It’s also about dissolving the kleshas or things that cloud our minds.  Many spiritual teachers have taught that the consumption of meat has a deadening, heavying, detrimental effect on the inner system and spiritual capabilities of man… Not only do the “vibrations” of the fear and suffering of the slaughtered animal enter into our own system through its flesh but the consumption of meat has the effect of keeping many of our spiritual faculties “locked up” and unable to even begin to function, due to the impurity and pollution of our system from eating corpses, which is exactly what meat eating is. Not only do we need to be living our lives focussed and established in ahimsa if we want to be developing and advancing spiritually but we should also be living as purely, cleanly, and healthily as possible. (Bliss of Hinduism)
2. It’s really about ahimsa or not taking another life to benefit my own.

But, this isn’t about why I’m vegetarian and ahimsa isn’t just about the treatment of animals.

Ahimsa is part of the Yamas, or the first limb to Ashtanga Yoga.  Its easy to mention ahimsa without really giving it much thought.  Following this idea of ahimsa develops much further beyond eating meat and not harming animals.  In fact, just avoiding eating meat is easy.  The tough part about this idea is remembering to not harm ourselves or others, it’s just general avoidance of harm.  This includes the things we say or think, our thoughts, deeds and actions.   This leads me to thinking about all the ways that I haven’t been putting this into practice.

When I think about my biggest trigger for not practicing ahimsa, its often the thing that’s closest to my heart: family.  Ahimsa can be used all the time and anytime in our choices, decisions, and actions.  It’s not easy to abstain from negativity, gossip, manipulation, or even laying guilt on myself for not accomplishing things.  Some might say, why avoid gossiping?  It’s fun!!  Well, I know that I always feel a lot more at peace when I am engaged in and surrounded by positive, uplifting people or conversations.  It’s not easy and I’ll never understand why its so much easier to give into negativity.  Of course, following the negativity, I’ll typically start to lay on the guilt on myself for having said or thought something harmful.  But, I have to just remind myself …

Aún aprendo ~I’m still learning

It’s true.  This is what yoga has brought me, whether I like it or not, is a greater awareness of not just my body, but also what’s happening underneath.  We should rejoice in knowing that we can be aware when we’re engaging in “violence” or harmful acts of any kind.  Awareness is where we then must learn take action and gain the ability to not continue to recycle our patterns.  Unfortunately, this takes time. Fortunately, yoga teaches me patience, rather raises my awareness that I need a whole lot of patience.

In the meantime, I’ve fled the cold and endless winter of northern Europe and am now in warm, humid Taiwan!!!  My body is loving this warmth though, just not the mosquitoes!!

Welcome back to Edinburgh!

I’ve learned many things about traveling, probably some that I can’t recall, but here’s a list of a few notables in case you’re going abroad:

• Make your seat and meal request with plenty of notice.  The earlier the better.  If it doesn’t really matter, over a 7 hour flight or longer IT WILL, especially if you’re stuck in the middle.   I forgot to make a reservation with enough time in advance and was stuck in a middle seat for an over-booked 12 hour flight with a woman who fell asleep on me.   Also, if you’ve got an allergy of some kind or don’t like particular food, make a meal request!!  As I’ve said before, if you make a meal request, you’ll be one of the first ones on the plane served.
• Arriving 2 hours before the flight time isn’t really necessary.  Note that depending on the airport and time of day might have a little influence on this general rule.  Of course, don’t arrive 20 min before either.  In my experience with a lot of flights in Europe especially my most recent flights with SAS and Lufthansa, they usually are delayed, so being punctual made no difference.  If you’re familiar navigating through airports, doing the whole strip down through security, and finding gates then you definitely don’t need 2 hours.  Travel through the states is an infamous unorganized disaster, so plan ahead if you’re going to be coming through major airports like LAX because you just might need at least 90 min.
• Check your visa.  Different countries have different regulations.  As an American, I’m able to travel through a decent amount of countries easily without needing a visa beforehand.  Some do have a few weird regulations though.  As I’m going to Taiwan soon, I happened to check up on the visa thing probably a little later than I should’ve and had to make some other arrangements so that all would be clear upon arrival.  Make sure you have at least ONE MONTH in one place prior to leaving if you need to process a visa or request a new passport.
• If you’ve got a particularly long layover, and in a cool place, try to leave the airport.  I had an 18 hour layover in Bangkok a few years back and decided to be bold and see some of the sites alone.  I got lucky though, as I was checking my hand luggage, I made two friends from the Netherlands and had company for the day.
• Unless you’re flying Ryan air, where seats are unassigned, its not necessary to line up at the entrance of the gate before the staff announces the time for boarding.  I often see people standing around with all their stuff, getting irritated or trying to inch their way to the front before they can even board the plane.  Relax, you’ll get on and you’ll get to your seat! If you’re worried about having enough overhead compartment space, save everyone the hassle and only store what’s necessary above.  I was rather surprised on my most recent flight that everyone stuffed their jackets in the overhead compartments, leaving little to no space for the actual carry-on luggage.  Selfishness aside!  We all have to fit.  Consider storing your jacket under the seat as it will save room and be useful if you get cold onboard.  Also, ladies, just keep your purse with you, it comes in handy so you don’t have to keep getting up. I often store snacks, make up, moisturizer and other fun things to keep me entertained over the long haul.
• Hydrate,hydrate.  If you have the space, bring an empty bottle and ask the flight attendants to fill it up with water once onboard.  Hydration is of the utmost importance as you travel and reach high altitudes.  I always carry eye drops as my eyes tend to feel like major sandpaper.  Additionally, I’ve even given myself a mini facial during the flight.  I admit, it was a little awkward, but I felt so refreshed after, it was fully worth the strange looks of passengers nearby.
• Bring snacks and lots of things to keep entertained.  Airport food is so incredibly expensive. In the past, I have brought steamed veggies, roasted sweet potatoes and apples onboard.  These days, Iphone’s seem to occupy most people’s excess time.  However, if you’re cool like me *not* and don’t have an iphone or smart phone or sometimes no phone, make sure you have something to keep boredom at bay.  My video monitor has failed me onboard in the past, or I’ve seen every good movie available already, so having a book or kindle handy is smart.
• Last but not least, don’t be afraid to smile!!  It makes for an easier time getting through the potentially laborious security process.  No one enjoys long lines.  No one enjoys being held up in a queue.  Let your awareness of that fact awaken your compassion for the process  (potentially your process of patience) and for the employees of the airport.

Any others??

My boyfriend broke his foot.  3 hours at the hospital was enough for us to decide that we were ready to end our cleanse.  Ingesting ghee every morning was making me so nauseous and exhausted.  However, the plus side of the kitchari cleanse?  MONEY!!!  You save big time on food spending.  I was so ready to end the cleanse though and so sick of eating rice and lentils.  However, I’d like to say that I did notice a difference, though maybe subtle.

The weather has been gradually warming up over the past weeks.  The countdown has started, again though.  I leave for Scotland in less than 2 days and Taiwan in a little over 2 weeks.

I’ve been running into a few unexpected obstacles of late, as always seems to be the case with travel.  As a US citizen, visiting Taiwan isn’t as simple as hopping on a plane and automatically getting a 90-day Tourist Visa.  Okay, it’s quite close to this.  I wasn’t aware until quite recently that I would need at least 6 months left on my passport in order to be granted this 90-day visa option upon arrival in Taipei.  Unfortunately, my passport happens to expire in September, leaving me with only 5 months left.

As a result, I had to get an emergency/temporary passport that’s valid for 1 year.  This seemed convenient as I could apply for a regular passport once I arrived stateside in June.  However, this will cause problems if my partner cohabitation visa is granted for Sweden in the meantime.  My “temporary” passport will not work .  We’ll see if I can get my passport in Taiwan…

Words to the wise about travel:

• Make sure you check visa regulations for the country you’re planning to visit at least one month in advance

In the meantime, while it’s still cold, the snow has started to melt as the sun has begun to radiate strongly.  Spring is coming, people are coming out of their shells.  On the flip side, sadness has begun to set in for me.  I will miss my boyfriend a lot.  3 1/2 more months apart.  Long distance relationships grow another muscle.

While I can’t help but feel a lot of hope and joy for what awaits, there is an undeniable fear about the time apart and how things will come together with the upcoming future.  Truth be told, I realize that whatever thoughts I might be experiencing aren’t really worth fighting.  It’s now a time to surrender as I learn to exercise patience during this period of waiting.  It’s also time to surrender to faith as there are a lot of great things ahead.

Farewell Norway, thank you for the past 3 months.

This week, we’ve decided to do a mini panchakarma.  Panchakarma (PK) is a cleansing and rejuvenation program for the body, mind and consciousness.  There’s a whole list of things to do to prep for before, during, and after panchakarma – but were not at a fancy retreat center or spa, so we’re doing the at-home version, which mostly just follows the internal cleansing (or the prep before PK).

For a week, we have to eat a non fat mono-diet.  In other words, lentils and rice.  Boring.  We feel like we’re living like poor people or in prison, but its good for saving money.  The purpose of this bland cleanse/diet is to give the digestive system a chance to rest so that the body can focus its efforts on detoxification. Cold drinks, cold foods, caffeine, sugar, dairy and alcohol should be avoided.

Alcohol? Caffeine? Sugar?

Let’s just say, its been a rather dull week

This is not a fast.  The point is not to be starving or feeling like we’re majorly depriving ourselves.  Although, that’s arguable considering I can’t drink coffee all week.  We’ll mostly be eating kitchari.  There’s lots of information regarding what one can or can’t eat, but they all seem to agree that foods consumed should be warm, organic (and not contain alcohol, fats, sugar, caffeine, etc).  Here’s the recipe that we’re mostly following, with a few minor additions (like coriander or ginger):

Mung Dal Kitchari

1 c basmati rice

1/2 c yellow split mung dal (we used red)

3 tablespoons ghee

1 teasp black mustard seeds

1 tsp cumin seeds

1 pinches hing (couldn’t find so we didn’t use, but it aids in preventing excess gas or bloating)

1/2 tsp turmeric

1/2 tsp salt

4 c water

Wash lentils and rice thoroughly.  Its even recommended to soak them for a bit of time prior to cooking to aid in digestion later.

Heat ghee over medium heat in a large pot add cumin and mustard seeds and hing.  Stir around until the seeds start to pop.

Add the lentils and rice, turmeric, and salt and combine for a few minutes.  This allows all the flavors to blend together and does actually create a yummy aroma.

Thereafter, add in the water and bring to a boil.  Return the heat to a lower temperature and allow the water to be absorbed, indicating the kitchari is cooked.  If the rice looks undercooked or tastes a bit hard, add more water and cook longer.  We used brown rice basmati, but normal white rice basmati cooks faster with less water.

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Why Kitchari?  It’s easy to digest while also being detoxifying and nutritious (and bland if its all your eating for days on end).  According to Ayurveda, India’s ancient holistic healing system, proper digestion is essential to good health. When you do the full PK cleanse it includes oil massages, sweating, and enemas to evacuate toxic materials from the body.

Every morning on an empty stomach, we’re ingesting tablespoons of ghee (clarified butter) and we’re increasing the amount ingested my double every day.  Ghee is another healing food that Ayurvedic practitioners believe increases agni, the internal fire that powers digestion and metabolism.  I don’t particularly like ghee alone on its own (or any other oils for that matter), but I guess I’m more used to these weird rituals now.  There’s a variety of information out there about how to do proper PK and I’m actually having difficulty finding consistent details on the exact amount of ghee to ingest.  I’m guessing it should begin with at least a tablespoon and gradually doubled each day for up to 7 days.  Ghee smells amazing when cooked, but when ingesting on an empty stomach, I always find it to be accompanied with nausea.  We’ll modify all this accordingly to our schedule.  There’s a whole other list of things that should be followed during the cleanse.  For example, reduce computer and tv use, mediate, rest and do lots of yoga, take long walks, etc…

For me, while I have no excuses, but I do a lot of stuff on the computer and I have a lot to get done.  The rest I think I accomplish most days anyways.

The final day of the cleanse involves drinking castor oil and letting it all come out.  Sounds fun right?  I promise not to post any pictures of the findings that day.

As my time here in Norway is nearing its end, I’m cheating with this weeks cleanse a bit.  Good lord, am I ever good at cheating with these things!  I will accelerate things a bit and do my major cleansing on Friday.  Social plans are calling this Saturday evening…things which can’t be neglected.

Basically, accomplishing anything is a big achievement.  Unless “accomplishment” includes staying up late, catching up on sleep, having lazy yoga practices, watching films, and indulging in too much food and wine, then I think I’ve accomplished a lot.  We’ve ordered an organic food box from Kolonihagen.  Once a week, they deliver a variety of fruits and veggies to our doorstep.  It’s been a reasonable price for our weekly surprise and offers something to look forward to every week.  It has also been a great source of inspiration for me for creating a variety of meals.  Buy local and organic if possible.  I’m not an organic food fanatic, but I must admit that the fruits and veggies we’ve received have been so delicious.  In this case, there is an obvious difference in flavor between organic and non-organic produce.

To spice up our life, my boyfriend and I have also started taking Tango lessons!  It’s been really nice for us to do something social and something that we can improve on together.

In Norway, I’ve always had issues feeling a sense of belonging or like its a place that I would even want to spend my time. But, I am IN Norway and while its cold, shutting myself indoors to hide from the elements only intensifies my feelings of alienation and aloneness.

If you want to integrate into a new culture, get involved in the community

When I was in Korea, I never really felt integrated into the community until I started salsa dancing.  As a result, the past month, I started taking some salsa classes with SalsaKompaniet.  The instructors are incredible.  Additionally, the salsa community here seems to be very tightly knit, but open.  Dancers are talented and theres’a variety of ages and levels.  Joining salsa has quite possibly been one of the best things I’ve done.  Albeit, its latin dance, but I finally feel like I’m apart of something in Norway with Norwegians.

This past weekend was a big salsa festival in Oslo.  3 days of salsa, and 2 full days of workshops.  My boyfriend has been so sweet and generous in taking care of me, but this festival was expensive.  Upon reading the website, I noticed a section for volunteers. Volunteering meant 7 hours of time, but I’d also get a free full pass ($200 for foreigners) to attend all events.  If I have the chance again, I’ll totally  get involved.  There were many people from all over Europe that came to the event, many of whom had attended other salsa festivals around Europe.  It was expressed that this one was one of the best festivals because the size of attendees in the classes were much smaller and intimate, enabling more opportunity to meet others.  I imagine that this festival will only get bigger and more crowded in the future, but I recommend it!

On more productive ends, I’ve finally booked my flights for the next few months.  Travel plans are as follows:

• End of March – Scotland
• April & May – Taiwan
• June – California
• Mid June – Hawaii
• End of July – Stockholm

I haven’t heard back from Sweden about my visa, so perhaps it was ambitious of me to book my flight there already. However, since I had to book so many flights over the next few months, I went ahead and booked a round-the-world-fare.  I think there is a great debate about whether or not those flights are worth the money.  To be honest, I’m not 100% sure all the time, but after looking at how much it would cost for one-ways it was about the same or a little less for a star alliance round the world ticket.  If I had booked a multiple one-way flights through star alliance carriers (my airline points), then it would’ve cost dramatically more.  I was in a bit of a rush when I booked it, so I don’t feel like I maximized my ticket as much as could’ve. I should’ve flown to a few more places in between and visited some friends, but money isn’t rolling in right now.  Well, let’s be frank, I’m not working so there is no money rolling in.

After writing this post, I guess I’ve been staying pretty busy and enjoying myself.  Maybe there are no major problems with vacation, other than the money issue .

That’s an update for now…more to come sooner than later!

People have often told me to let go and not be afraid, but when you’ve built a life around fear based decision or impulses, this isn’t the easiest thing to do.  My parents have taught me to always plan for the worst.  When I’ve told them that I’ve wanted to do something, they usually think of all the various “what if’s” to make sure that all bases are covered.  While, I appreciate their desire for me to always make the best choice, considering all the negatives first only highlights the difficulties and has often talked me out of doing things.  Unfortunately, I have even taken this farther; not only have I learned to plan for or consider the worst, I’ve sincerely believed it might happen.

All this goes without saying that I still have made a fair share of wrong decisions, even if I have considered the bad things that could happen.  My impulsive and stubborn nature has often fought so wildly against my fear or wisdom that I just sometimes dare myself to try.  On the other hand, this fear of things going wrong or not working (ie. applying for a job, or being asked to do something I don’t want to do) has also resulted in me not doing anything at times.

Presently, my biggest potential case for fear is around my relationship.  First though, I want to express how blessed I am for my relationship with B. He is incredible, loving, absolutely attractive and so fearless.  After 2 years filled with some very irrational and unjustified fears, I’ve finally realized how ready I am to commit to him.  The odd truth is that even though he might say that he’s been unsure in the past, he has always, always embraced me with open arms.  He’s never once shunned my affection or dodged talking things through.  Never. Ever.

A couple of factors have made our situation a little tricky.  When we met, I had already committed to teaching for one more year in Korea.  The distance stood against us.  We felt very distant and emotionally separated from each other at times, but we somehow persevered.

The other justified angst: our citizenship. I’m American, he’s Swedish.  Jumping from visa to visa to legally be together can be expensive and draining.  While having a flexible and unpredictable plan seems freeing, it can also be unreliable and tricky when planning ahead.  We’ve heard how difficult it can be to get a visa to another country, not to mention the waiting time for a decision.  We had attempted to start the process when I was in Korea, but since he wasn’t and still isn’t presently living in Sweden, it was a bit more challenging as we didn’t know at that time when he’d be returning back.  All this is necessary information for the National Migration Board (Migrationsverket) in Sweden.

Though we’re together now (I’m on my tourist visa), I’ve committed to going to Taiwan for April and May.  My plan was then to head back to my family in California.  While we felt like this would be good for me, we’d been  concerned that it would only delay processing my Swedish visa due to all my traveling about.  I’d heard that one had to be in the states when applying or in one location (outside Sweden) during the waiting time.  Regardless, we’ve had high aspirations to move to Sweden by the end of summer, but I’ve been beginning to wonder if maybe it was being a bit too hopeful.

So, how does one get a visa to Sweden?  In Sweden, there’s the infamous SAMBO visa, which is a common law spousal and partner cohabitation visa.  The government is recognizing the union of the couple, without actually requiring them to be officially married.  In my opinion, this is practically like marriage though, just without the white dress.  I mean, the state or country is granting permission for the two to be together, which I think is wonderful!! I hear its a nightmare getting a visa for a partner/spouse in the states.

Good news is that you can apply online for the visa through migrationsverket.  We considered submitting my application now (January) and crossing our fingers that maybe, just maybe, I’d be able to interview at the Swedish Embassy here in Oslo.  It’s not like I’m doing much else for the next 2 months.  But, how long would it take for me to hear back to get an interview??  Were the rumors true: would I have to return to the states when processing a visa of this nature?

Questions in hand we called the Swedish Embassy in Oslo, which is much easier than calling Migrationsverket in Sweden and waiting in the queue for endless amounts of time.  The woman cheerfully told us to bring in our application to the Embassy in Oslo, but that I’d still have to interview in my home country.  At the end of the conversation, she told my boyfriend in Swedish that since I was American, a visa would be no problem.

Ahhh, how hope rises….

Interviewing in the states didn’t make much sense to me though as I have my US passport and am legally in Norway.  It’s not like I’d be interviewing with American’s in America.  I still would have to interview with a Swedish person at the Embassy in the states.

Luck was on our side, or maybe it was charm, but the woman was so enthusiastic at the depth and organization of my application (thank you Mom for the good preparation skills) that she wanted to see if she could expedite the process.  3 minutes later, I was getting my biometrics completed and penciled in for an interview within 12 days.

Of course, there’s always that underlying fear: what if my application is rejected?!  I can’t find any reason why they would reject it, but that’s an honest fear.  As B’s flatmate said, “when you’re afraid of something, just press forward fearlessly and face it.”

By chance, I happened to revisit a post I’d written, nearly two years ago.  After looking through old posts I’ve written and my present state of mind, it seems that I haven’t overcome any amount of fear.  It’s all still there.  I suppose the difference between now and then (being 7 years ago before yoga and all this travel), is that now I’m still moving.  Albeit, sometimes its been blindly going forward,  but I don’t feel stuck in one place.  Whatever the future, I am still so grateful for what my relationship has brought to my life.  Though fears arise, I pray to maintain peace, clarity and faith…it will be alright, it will be the way its meant to be.

I am ready, I was born ready .  Details of the interview to come after tomorrow!!

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