Avoidance
In Ashtanga, the lineage and developing a relationship with your teacher are very important to the practice. Unfortunately for me, I didn’t develop the type of relationship I wanted with my first teacher. Whether its that he had been teaching too long or didn’t find me a suitable student, I always felt something missing. I had so many questions and never felt like I could approach him and if I did, I wasn’t met with a response that gave me a greater understanding.
While I have working knowledge of the significance of parampara (the succession of teachers and disciples), I still have yet to properly develop my own bond. Some venture to Mysore, India every year to study with Sharath, but with all the many students that go, being another face in the crowd of a celebrity figure is not the relationship I had imagined. Yet, I suppose if I start to seriously study Buddhism, this might also be the same case depending on the teacher I decide to study under. I often make excuses for why I can’t or don’t do things. I’m speaking most specifically to my life and the yoga practice. Basically, I’ve been doddering.
One thing my teacher used to always say that stuck with me and that I use when encountering a difficult pose or obstacle in life is avoidance is not the answer.
And as the wheel turns, if we continue not to face things in our life, they will only continue to re-evolve and reemerge.
I tend to dip my toe in and pretend that I’m all about something, when the reality is there’s still a part of me holding back. So yes, I’ve been avoiding blogging. So much to say, so little time. Actually, I’ve just been lazy. It’s been hard being away from family during this time of year. The holidays have always symbolized a time of family for me and I’m not even with mine. I don’t mean to sound morose. I have been having an amazing time where I am.
Speaking of avoiding, its so common to see people develop health problems when things have been neglected. A bit towards the other side of the world, My mom recently underwent back surgery and I regret not being physically there to care for her. However, I’m doing what I can with the distance and am hoping sending along small surprises will suffice. A friend I’d met in Korea organized a meal schedule for her mom when she was abroad, so I thought I could attempt to fulfill my daughterly duty from afar. Takethemameal.com allows you to create an organized and awesome meal schedule. No longer does a person who wants to help have to incessantly contact the person in need, they can just sign up and show up – or better yet, deliver (which is what I’m doing). Pretty cool!
Alas, 3 1/2 months have come and gone in Edinburgh. Where did all my time (and money) go? I have also now been on the gluten full diet. However, might I add that my yoga practice has been intensified and lengthened and now takes me a solid two hours. Tack on my average of a 10k daily walk and I’d say this chickie has deserved her carbs!
Just as I’ve watched the season change out my window these past few months, the signs are clear. Change happens and you can either learn to cope with it or fight it. This year signifies more teaching, but in the form of yoga. Now more than ever do I feel the pressure to step up to the plate and be a good role model for the practice. It’s time to dive into this, enough dabbling already. It’s time to seek out my teacher, its time to start acting without fear.
I will miss Edinburgh dearly. Scratch that, I will miss my friends here dearly. I’ve integrated so quickly into the city. Thank you Bristo Yoga School and thank you to all the beautiful friends I’ve made. May our paths cross again.
To colder climates I venture. Norway: T-1 day
Great and honest blog. More please!
Thank you…I will try to write more frequently!!
Enjoy your next leg.
Thank you!!!