Friday night after work, four of us boarded the KTX.  Reaching the speed of 300 km/hr, the ride was fast and smooth and an incredibly ear popping adventure.  We crashed in a love motel and went shopping like crazy in a huge fashion center of the city.  I found myself wanting to use the few Korean words I knew (as usual) and most Koreans only wanted to speak English.  The sights, sounds and feelings were exhilarating.  Ah, a real international city!

Seoul was awesome.  My students have also gotten very frustrated with me because I still can’t pronounce the word correctly.  Anyway, I loved the city.  I realized if I had lived there, the transition into Korea would’ve been easy.  Everyone spoke English and there was a wide range of food choices and restaurants.   However, I also realized that if I had lived there, I probably would’ve gone shopping every weekend and out to eat all the time.  Being in Busan, has challenged me in multiple ways because I am forced to be more self-sufficient than I ever thought I would have to be before.

Also, I’m feeling more and more connected to the small yoga community here in Korea.

Going away for girl’s weekend was fun and a great time for making memories.  I have three girlfriends who live in the same apartment as I.  While we all mesh well for girl’s nights and provide a good support system for each other, I realized this past weekend how different we really are.  I felt the pull this past weekend over the practice and how different I am than most people because of my lifestyle.  These days, I just stay at home and going out almost magnifies how inflexible I really am.  I didn’t want to stay out all night.  I wasn’t open to doing things like I used to be and it made me feel like my attitude was sour and snobby.

The practice does isolate me in a lot of ways.  It also forces me to face that in the past I could’ve befriended anyone and these days I realize I’m becoming more and more selective.  Certainly, it’s been wonderful having girlfriends my age, but as my other girlfriend so honestly admitted, we probably would be friends at home in the states, but we probably wouldn’t be like best friends.

This awkward realization has pulled at my mind in multiple ways.  I’m feeling quite comfortable being alone and doing my things.  I do wonder if it’s also making me selfish.  I’m living for myself, if I don’t want to go out because I’m worried about getting stuck out all night – I just completely avoid a situation.  Am I being anti social?  Surely, it isn’t the practice that is making me this way…

…or is it?

I never felt so anti social at home in the states.  I was just too busy to do anything.  Am I now just too inflexible to step outside myself?

The holidays are creeping closer and closer.  I’m feeling bittersweet about missing the festivities with the family (never thought I’d ever say that).  It will be weird to be here without all the holiday hoopla.